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I was sitting in a rocking chair with a pen and diary in my hand. It creaked as I rocked it back and forth. The room was silent and had a dim oil lamp which accented its decor with a beautiful yellow.  The room was silent, but my mind was not! In my mind, there was nothing but chaos, uninvited noises and fear. Chaos because of all the time that I had wasted, noises of taunts that came from unmotivated mouths and fear of failure. I sat there silent and allowed my pen to run on the paper, to run far away from whatever I was experiencing.

The last drop of the oil in the lamp crackled as its soul rose up, burning with a bright yellow flame. The insects stayed there, being silent spectators to the departure of their love. The room started loosing its yellow accent as the fire blew out, handing over the throne to the moonlight.

I frowned. I was disappointed. It seemed as though the lamp was mocking my situation and the chore of reigniting the fire was a token of this mockery! I kept my pen and diary on the table, folded my arms and sat there for a while, staring into nothingness.

Drops of water trickled down the faucet. The last flock of birds flew back to their homes. The clock struck ten. The night had just begun its journey to rest in the dawn. I had just begun my journey to thrive in the burning fire of my ambitions. This thought prompted me to jump out of my brief meditation and surrender to the demands of the lamp.

I picked up a match box, some oil and started the fire. At first, it hesitated, as though it feared that it would not be able to fill in the shoes of its predecessor, but then, it chose to embrace its fear rather than fighting back. The fire allowed the fear to fuel its will and burnt even brighter than the one before it. I stood there for a while, with a smile on my face and a hope in my heart. A hope to embrace my fears just like the fire did!

Category: ambition, creative writing, dreams, life, literature, motivation, success, writing Tags: , , , , , , ,

19 Comments on “Fear of Failure……”

  1. Very precise. Both your blog design and your writings. Very glad to be connected with you mate.🤗🤗🤗 I actually lost in some other realm when reading it. Great. Mesmerizing. Happy blogging. I will start reading your story very soon.🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Thank you so much Debajit! I am so glad that you like the blog! The fact that it took you to some other realm is the biggest compliment for me as a writer! I hope you like the story too! Happy blogging!

      Liked by 1 person

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      • My pleasure 🤗
        Your style is mesmerizing 🤗✊
        We both are in initial stage of blogging but one thing I want to admit that there is lot to learn form you.
        I believe we both can enrich each others thoughts through this great connection of blogging world.
        HPpy blogging.🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello! The first thing that struck me was that banner image. So welcoming! I look forward to reading more as I hope you do on I Write Her. Thank you for the follow. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. I think our fear of failure comes from our childhood worries about what other people think of us. But you know what? It doesn’t matter what others think of us, if they like us or don’t, if they think we’re smart or stupid. These are childhood fears. As we grow into adulthood, eventually we decide to be true to ourselves, and that the opinions of others are completely irrelevant.

    As Socrates said: “To thine own self be true and thou can’st be false to any man.” Internalize this and stop worrying about anyone’s judgements but your own.

    It works, it really does!
    Karen

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Beautifully said Karen! I agree! Almost all the fears and insecurities that our mind harbors are stemmed from the judgmental behavior of the society that we witness as children. These fears crowd our brain making us run out of space for productivity and creativity and thus force us to lead an unsatisfied and unhappy life. The endeavor of winning over these mental blocks is a life-long fight indeed but, I agree, it does become easier as we grow towards maturity and start caring less about the people around and more about the person within!
      Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and sharing this here! Really means a lot!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    • Thank you so much for such a lovely comment! Comments like these motivate me to keep on writing.😊 Thank you so much Hardik! Thank you so much for stopping by! I am so glad you like my work 😊🌸

      Like

      Reply

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Often, in life, you spend your lazy Sunday afternoons staring at the ceiling and missing… Someone. Something. Everything.⁣ These are the times when you can't help but fall down an abyss of old and dusted picture albums. The pages turn so fast that this show seems like an unending retro movie titled, "All the times you failed to live a smile".⁣ ⁣ Scenes are hazy, you can't remember those faces anymore, and the dialogues sound like a violin instrumental being played on a grotesque gramophone.⁣ What's not strange though, is the fact that you get to waltz down an alley of broken photo frames every time the violin begins to play.⁣ ⁣ And, why is that not strange?⁣ Because that's your home.⁣ Because, out of every and any name given to a home, 'strange' has never been one.⁣ ⁣ That alley, oh dear… that's your home. You moved out of your dreamy castle a few years ago. ⁣ There, the linens used to rub against your skin; they used to peel it off like a coarse sandpaper, and you have never liked to keep your bones naked.⁣ ⁣ There, you felt alone.⁣ As alone as a smiling corpse lying in its coffin, deep under the Earth, waiting for death gods to take it away.⁣ You felt alone, and anxious… without the gloom.⁣ ⁣ So, you ran down the stairs and moved into this alley.⁣ Here, the ceilings weep,⁣ and you wander around in a drenched silk gown;⁣ But, you are at peace,⁣ and never alone.⁣ ⁣ But… Is that the way to be? ⁣
The mirror, it's empty; ⁣ And it lives on an empty white wall, opposite another.⁣ How big of a shame,⁣ Must that be,⁣ To be a mirror in this huge vivid world of ours,⁣ But to have never seen a color?⁣ A shame. Indeed.⁣ ⁣ My heart,⁣ It's tainted,⁣ By the taunts and torment, alike.⁣ I remorse flaws,⁣ I feed on fears,⁣ I paint my heart,⁣ With the hollowest shades of black;⁣ And in theory,⁣ That's a shame too;⁣ To be carrying a heart,⁣ Gone black from the rot,⁣ When the skies above your head⁣ Dance with the lilacs of love.⁣ A shame. Nonetheless.⁣ ⁣ But,⁣ If you would have ever dared⁣ To study witchcraft⁣ Like an angel,⁣ You would have known⁣ That a curse⁣ Can be murdered⁣ By another,⁣ Just in a wink;⁣ So,⁣ One day,⁣ I did it.⁣ ⁣ I faced the shame-drenched mirror,⁣ With all the hate in my heart,⁣ And,⁣ The curse⁣ Shattered to the ground.⁣ Red dawned over;⁣ I blushed.⁣ ⁣ Image: Pinterest
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