I will miss you, Naanu…

Fires warm your nights at the cost of burning you. Sometimes I wonder if that is how everything good in the world works. Do good things really come with a price? Or, is the pain just about the guilt and shame that comes with having better than others? 

Some storms don’t come to kill you; but if they don’t kill you, do they always make you stronger? Do storms also feel proud to have killed more people than the others? Why do we wear our traumas as a badge of honor? Is that why we fear good healers? Have we really begun to identify ourselves through the scars we wear on our skins?

Strange world, isn’t it? 

People lose their lives to death. People lose their loved ones to death. Some people lose their smiles to death. Or, has it always been the other way around? What if it was life fighting to keep its best soldiers alive? What if we are the delusional ones who mindlessly gravitate towards our own ends?

I recently lost my Nanaji (That’s the Hindi word used to address your mother’s father). This was my first time processing death so closely. The experience has left me wondering why people tend to hate their lives so much. I mean, life doesn’t end until it ends. You have the world waiting for you while you are still breathing. Every moment is a new opportunity and every person brings along a new kind of love, yet we toss our lives into a can of garbage just because there aren’t people around us who chant our greatness each day. 

I doubt if the great ever cared about the applause roaring around them. In fact, I believe, it is truly their nonchalance for the praises that makes them even worthier of celebration. That is the kind of man my Nanaji was. Subtle, humble, elegant, yet confident, wise, and full of life. He taught me how you don’t have to beat yourself down to have a bigger heart. Sadly, the lesson truly struck me after I lost him. I will miss him… forever. He was my guiding light in life… my biggest motivation to go out there and achieve every big thing… he was and he will always be! I miss you Naanu. 

19 Replies to “I will miss you, Naanu…”

    1. I agree. I love the word. I used to love calling him that. ❤
      It took a lot for me to post this here. I lost him on the 9th of November and since then I tried to write a tribute so many times, but each time, I would simply begin crying.
      Eventually, I decided to not post anything about this for some time, but then I was working on this post and I naturally began writing about him midway.

      Probably this is how he would have liked it himself. He used to love my posts about philosophy. This was probably the best way to pay a tribute to him. ❤

      Like

    1. I will miss him a lot. The loss broke me at many levels. But for him and for the precious bond we shared, I will definitely try my best to move forward in life and make him proud. ❤
      Thank you so much for the kind words. ❤

      Like

  1. ♡ Depends on how “better” is defined; as a Divorcee My Former Wife went in search of something “better” but I AM NOT!!! Bitter 😂🤣😅😆😁😄😃😀🙂

    …♡♡♡…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I will add my condolences here as well. It is so beautiful that you honor your grandfather in this way. Hug yourself. Kiss your hand. He is with you—tangibly in your blood, and metaphysically, all around you! ❤️🦋🌀🙏☯️🎼

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your comment made me cry. It is so comforting. Thank you so much for this. ❤
      Yes, you are right. He will continue to live through me and my memories. I hope I make him proud in life and carry his values forward. ❤
      Thank you so much.❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww, well dear heart, those tears are cleansing… and consider this, perhaps that is another “form” of co-communication? I don’t see many animals cry. Just a thought!
        And certainly on a soul level at least co-communication is possible. (I didn’t make you cry, but something inside you, stirred your emotions.) 😉❤️

        Like

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